GOLDEN – NOTE: J. Mesa joined Wunderdog Sports in November, to lead our customer service efforts. In this column he shares his thoughts on being a part of Wunderdog Sports and sports betting in general.

So here it is a week later and I am still in the Dog house. As the newest puppy in the pound, I thought it was my turn to share a few observations of this world of mad scientist -like behavior I have witnessed during my short tenure with the Wunderdog.

“…AND THE ROOM GOT DEATHLY QUIET.” – Yes, it is true, I am not a gambler. Whether on sports, ponies, doggies, kitties, bunnies or whatever, I don’t really play. What I do know about gambling isn’t worth a sawbuck – so if you ask me for any personal betting advice, my advice is this: ask someone else.

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Don’t get me wrong, I love Las Vegas, but not for the same reason you may. It’s not the glitz and the glamour of this nonstop town that I love and, it’s not for the 24-hour gaming accessibility, that gets me, but rather the 24-hour accessibility of the cocktail that keeps bringing me back. In fact the one table bet I will consider, is that I stand a fair chance of drinking you under one.

 

THE HARDCOURT OF APPEALS - I have only placed one bet in my life. A just-before-the-book-closed, stagger of a wager on - of all things - the Tennis Master’s Cup in 2001. I bet $22.50, to win 30 bucks on an underdog I felt was due. Lo and behold, I was right. Jean Michael Gambil came through for me and it was “6.99 buffets for all my friends.”

 

Which leads me to the first lesson I learned by being walked by the Dog. I learned that this type of betting will break you. Your bankroll will run out faster than LaDanian Tomlinson.

 

The point is that this is no way to manage a bankroll. If you want to get some real enjoyment out of sports betting you have to look at the big picture, consistency is the key, not impulse. I won that time but if I would have taken the winnings and placed another bet I would have lost, guaranteed. Why? Because I had no plan, no research and no idea, I still don’t. I had a hunch and I got lucky.

 

SIMPLE PLAN FOR A SIMPLE MAN – I am a simple man. My wife will tell you that I do what I am told, and for the most part I agree. I know that God speaks to me and I do what he says - I mean if he had wanted me to be a Raiders fan he would have made the sunsets black and silver not orange and blue.

 

By doing what I am told I fall into another rookie betting trap – betting with your heart. I will never bet against the Broncos and I will never bet on the Raiders. Even when the odds are stacked, I can’t betray my team. As a bettor, this makes no sense. Again, I am not doing any research and my plan is that God will deliver my team and my bet to glory but since John Elway retired, God has become a Patriots fan.

 

No research means no plan which equals no win.

The other painful lesson I have learned about betting big on the home team is that with one Jake Plummer pass I can lose my entire bankroll. This may seem OK, if I only bet one game at a time, one game a season, that’s all.

If you want to have more fun over the course of the full season: pace yourself. Don’t go into each week looking to make the “big score,” after all, someone much smarter than

I once said something to the effect that Vegas was built by losers, not winners.

 

IF A TREE FALLS IN THE WOODS - The best way to chop down a tree is to take small shots and keep at it. No one has ever chopped down a mighty tree with one fell swoop, not even those beefy Pacific North westerners featured on the lumberjack challenge.

 

During one of my pseudo Dr. Doolittle moments, the Dog told me that the key to the highest return on investment is to bet one, to five percent of your bankroll per game. This will ensure action throughout the season, not just a one time all-or-nothing crapshoot or coin toss.

 

Over betting is to gambling, what over eating is to the marathon runner – your day is over before the race even begins.

 

So the week is out, and I have a new arsenal to attack this sports betting thing. The one question that persists is what to try first – college football or pro? Pro basketball or college? Horses? Hockey? I just don’t know, but as the sun is setting out here in the West, the sunset has an eerie blue and yellow glow, hmm – another flash of lightning.

 

In the coming days and weeks, I will decide and let you know what I play and how I make out.

 

I am going against all of my preconceived notions about betting, but with my home team on the ropes perhaps the Dog will throw me a bone… in the meantime, tennis anyone?