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World ZZZeries A random sampling of folks from a number of walks of life demonstrated how much they are enjoying the World Series. Besides those who are actually in the business of covering the thing, the overwhelming consensus is, “What Series?” These are all east-coasters mind you, so they may be a bit biased towards getting sleep. The games are delayed by a useless pre-game and finally get underway precisely when its time to put the kids to bed. Then, because it is a World Series, the folks at Fox are maximizing on their commercial time. Due to the import of every play, even if they are classic pitchers duels, they will extend into the wee hours regardless. Then throw in extra-innings… I know of no one who managed to make it all the way through game three to tell the tale, unless they were paid for it. I’m told Adam Everett popped up to short for the final out at 2:20 a.m. ET – or about the time in my dreams Jennifer Anniston was asking me to rub her back. At 5 hours, 41 minutes, it was the longest game by time in Series history. I guess that’s a suitable record for a team like Chicago who haven’t won since 1917. Personally I would have loved to see it, but my eyes gave up being open by the end of the sixth. I wasn’t alone I suspect as this series is garnering the worst television ratings since they’ve had ratings. Why the apathy? Though the sleepy-time issue is a major factor, it’s not just the time involved. It’s who is playing. Coming off last year’s Red Sox win this has the comparative luster of, well, Houston. A city so boring the municipal government had to initiate a program for the locals called, “Stop Trashing Houston.” The Astros as a team are kind of bland as well. Entering the league as the Colt .45’s in 1962, their logo wasn’t a can of beer, rather a hand gun. Only in Texas. Since then the team has languished in relative obscurity. Their biggest claim to fame was a stadium, and the originator of their current namesake, the Astrodome. This year’s series non-contenders do have characters like the Rocket, Bagwell and Biggio. But for the first time in more than half a century, their roster doesn’t include a single black player. Now that’s bland! As for the other Sox, they aren’t even their own city’s favorite team. Chicago’s columnists are left writing about how crazy the city would be going if the Cubs – a team just as cursed as their south side rivals – made it all the way to the Fall Classic. With Chicago beating on the Astros – so I’m told - it looks like there will be a party on the south side like it was 1959. At least someone will enjoy this someplace – although I somehow doubt Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore will be seen jumping for joy. In Houston, things won’t be so happy. The only lasting image will be of Barbra Bush behind home plate cursing out the umpire. That is perhaps the most memorable image of the team’s 44-years of Texas frustration. What can baseball do to avoid these dogs in the future? Nothing much. They’ve already slanted the playing field as much as they can in order to ensure big market teams like New York and Boston make it in on a yearly basis. That said, I do have a suggestion that solves all of MLB’s – and our - troubles. Hold a relegation series between the Yankees and the Red Sox as a nightly warm-up to the World Series games. The ratings would be through the roof – even though it would be meaningless. And that way at least I would get to see the end of at least some games. Cheers – Gavin McDougald – AKA Couch Remember to drop us a line at rants@betED.com to voice your opinion on one of McDougald's articles or on anything else you read at betED!
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